My Testimony

Depressed and Alone

When I was about 14, I was dealing with some issues during my parent’s divorce, after my dad left the country. During this particular year, my heart started to grow cold, and hate was growing in my heart toward my dad. Not only did he abandon me and my family, but he also took most of our money. We went from being wealthy to being poor. We had owned many businesses and properties, but due to these circumstances, eventually had to foreclose on our houses. It was a really rough thing to experience as a teenager, and this is the first time, I’m saying some of these details publicly.

When my heart was going through turmoil, I didn’t know what to do. I just blamed my dad. But my story took a turn when some of my friends invited me to high school youth group. I wasn’t sure about going, but my friends seemed enthusiastic. So I decided to go. When I first attended, I felt familiar with the content, because I had attended Christian private school for elementary and middle school. I would say that I believed in God, but I hadn’t fully surrendered 100% of my heart. When the sermon was over, I would leave feeling pretty convicted. It’s not a feeling I was used to, haha. To be perfectly honest, I didn’t think I wanted to go back. It was fun at first, but I would leave feeling bad. The reason I went back to youth group, is because I felt challenged, and I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to keep learning, even though it didn’t feel good. One thing about me is that I don’t give up. I keep going until I overcome the obstacle. That’s something God put inside of me, when I was very young.

Confession

I continued to attend for several months, and during the summer, they offered an opportunity. We were invited to a summer retreat to get away for the weekend. To relax and have fun. I remember thinking to myself, that my main desire was to get away from everything. To get away from home, school, and my own insecurities. What came to my surprise, is that it was a weekend that changed my life. As a result, I met Jesus. During the camp, I tried to enjoy myself, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad. When the church group was gathered for morning devotionals, I finally opened up to them. Normally, I would be feeling shy and avoid sharing in public, but my heart was numb, and I didn’t care anymore. I went ahead and told an entire church group that I hated my dad.

Turning Point

When we dispersed at the end of the meeting, someone came up to introduce himself. One of my peers wanted to hear more about my story. So we sat by the lake, and I discussed the details. It was then I learned that he was abandoned by his father. He went through a similar process. It was reassuring to talk to someone who could understand. It was that weekend that I learned that God cared about me, and what I was going through. I was suffering due to the consequences of my dad’s actions. But God showed himself to me, as a good father. When I came home from the trip, on the first night, I knelt by my bedside, and asked Jesus into my heart. I repented of all my sins, and turned away from them. I fully surrendered my life to Him. For the first time, the emptiness in my heart was filled with God’s love. The Lord also took away my hatred for my dad. It was the start of a process which led me to forgiving my dad as well.

Forgiveness is hard, especially when something is done to you, and it is not made right. For myself, the act of forgiveness was a supernatural one. I couldn’t have done it on my own. It is an act of your will to choose to forgive someone. However, with God’s help, I was able to forgive my dad, and release myself from the chains of despair and depression. One immediate change I saw in myself, after being saved, was instead of being really shy, I started to jump into conversations! I felt this sensation, this excitement of being around people. Before, I normally kept to myself, because I didn’t like people before. I only cared about myself. But God showed me there was more to life, and not just thinking about myself, but thinking about others. He really is a God who does everything possible to see everyone get saved.

One Solution, One Choice

God is so good, and I’m happy to serve Him. He rescued me from the pit, and I don’t know what I would’ve done without Him. If anyone here doesn’t know Jesus, I invite you to ask Him into your heart. Maybe you were hurt by a loved one, or feel that it’s impossible to climb out of your depression. I’ve been there, and it’s not a good place to be. Not mentally or emotionally. My dad robbed my family of our finances, and fled the country. To this day, I still haven’t seen him, even after 15 years. I may never see him again. But God stepped in, to become my father. God wants to be your family too. He wants to cleanse you of all your sins and give you everlasting life. Believe in his son, Jesus, who went to the cross, suffered and died in your place, so you could be set free.